50+ Bags Fit for a Medieval Sex Symbol

These Miu Miu finds would kill a medieval peasant

Welcome back to the House of Sexually Suggestive Belt Bags.

If you haven’t read the first installment yet, you may be wondering how you stumbled into this… may I recommend you start here?

So You Want To Be a Medieval Sex Symbol

In the spirit of our good friend Geoffrey Chaucer and his girdled maiden Alison, I went hunting in search of interesting secondhand and vintage belt bags. Some are practical, some are semi-useless as carrying vessels, but all will leave you hands-free and unburdened. How sexy!

Now here’s to hoping A sees something she likes so I can stop worrying about her loose house key falling onto the subway tracks.

Some medieval inspiration:

All images courtesy the Index of Medieval Art :)

circa 1380–1380 (need the shoes too)

circa 1495–1498 (love this pearl/jewel detailing)

circa 1490 (if i didn’t know any better i’d say the white bag is nylon uniqlo)

circa 1440 (small and dainty)

circa 1340–1350 (“you are NOT wearing my bag out again!”)

circa 1430–1435 (very dior saddle belt bag)

circa 1500–1520 (yes to tassels!)

Details that sparked my interest while digging around:

• Utility belt-like design

• Bags with a high Dangle Factor

• Beadwork

• Delicate clasps

• Pouches that can be removed from the belt and put to use as a clutch

Below, 50+ bags fit for a medieval sex symbol, ranging in vibe from Sporty Spice to Posh Spice. There’s Prada and Miu Miu and Gucci (oh my!) and more, both designer and miscellaneous vintage and antique.

I’ve broken them down into categories based on size:

1. Can fit your AirPods and loose key (for A, of course)

2. Can fit your phone and 5 lip products (a nice medium size to hold the essentials)

3. Can fit your wallet and paperback and an emergency Baggu tote (practical size for everyday use or traveling)

Let’s dive in!

Can fit your AirPods and loose key

Coach Leather Belt Bag $220 (this one might be my favorite of the bunch, the color is so yum) / shop on The RealReal

Miu Miu Cloth Belt Bag, $330 / shop on Vestiaire Collective

Gimaguas Leather Belt Bag, $132 / shop on The RealReal

Cuyana Embossed Leather Belt Bag, $92 / shop on The RealReal

Prada Sport Nylon and Leather Belt Bag, $300 / shop on eBay

Rearrangeable!

Antique Beaded Leather Chatelaine Purse, $115 / shop on eBay

Rebecca Minkoff Leather Belt Bag, $48 (I’ve been quietly waiting for a Rebecca Minkoff renaissance in the wake of the City bag revival…) / shop on The RealReal

All proceeds from paid subscriptions in August (both recurring monthly payments + upgrades made this month) will be donated to mutual aid in Gaza. I’ll be donating directly to Stephanie H. Shih who has been distributing resources in Gaza for the last year and a half. You can learn more about Stephanie’s work here.

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