I Feel Valentino in This Space-Time Continuum

Fashion month brain dump: trends, tailoring, and everything else that tickled my fancy

Mar 15, 2026

∙ Paid

Babe, watch out! You almost got sucked into the Valentino wormhole…

Runway season! Yards and yards of silk (miles, maybe?), millions of microscopic beads, silk alchemized into magic… delish. Capital F fashion is excess with a capital E, which often feels grating against the state of the world: it’s an uncomfortable collision that fashion usually chooses to ignore tbh.

But a crucial fight against fascism is the championing of ART!, so we rage on, zooming in at max capacity on the Schiaparelli scorpion and Dior’s lily pad shoes and the Miu Miu bejeweled fur trapper hats. In dark moments, it’s nice to turn toward something that sparkles.

This letter covers a few stellar collections from the recent season with deep dives into:

the looks that took my breath away
standout motifs, i.e. trends that are about to blow up & details I’m keeping an eye on for my own closet
keywords + brands to shop similar pieces secondhand

So let’s chat about some clothes, shall we? Starting with the one thrilling enough to make the headline —

I’d go to grad school for a Ph.D. in Valentino Physics

I have a soft spot for Alessandro Michele. My dream holiday is a week in his fantastical inner world, parked up on a lounger sipping something frozen and fruity.

The Valentino couture show was a surreal inversion of traditional logistics with guests viewing the looks through peep holes as models cycled through stations instead of a classic runway. Because of this, every group of guests saw the show in a different order.

Order is generally very important to a fashion show — you start with something bold, you tell a specific story as you move through the work, and you end with a bang. But this was a show without order. Time seemed to fold in on itself: no look was truly first, no look was truly final. The couture was born from a wrinkle in the shimmering fabric of Valentino’s space-time continuum. Each look as big of a bang as the last.

It was deliciously ‘70s and titillatingly vibrant. Deep v-necks, elaborate head pieces, and all the glitz of a feverish disco. I’d be shocked if Michele didn’t have on reruns of “The Cher Show” during his design process.

The look that took my breath away:

★ This beaded necklace cascading down the model’s chest like a gold waterfall is almost blindingly luxurious. A bright, deep pool of emerald draped around it, and the two pieces mingle on her body like the sexiest singles at a hotel bar.

Notable motifs:

★ Deep deep Vs. Sultry even sans cleavage. If the belly button isn’t at risk of exposure, it’s not deep enough.

★ Minty blues. Deeply engaging for pop of turquoise truthers like me. I clocked a lot of pairings of bright blues and luxe shades of red this season (though I’m always primed to notice as it’s a personal favorite color combo).

Mix ‘n match keywords to search: (always start with + “vintage” for prime results)

70s disco, 70s deep v, 80s party dress, 80s belt, dressing robe, ruffles, Elizabethan collar, opera gloves, heeled mules, bedazzled, embroidered, sequin, crushed velvet, lurex, silk, satin, metallic, feathered, beaded fringe, big bow

Tom Ford is making me pro-microplastics

This collection blew me away — perhaps most of all because I wasn’t expecting it to. I always have the highest hopes for Prada, I expect posh glamour at Chanel, sculpture won’t shock me at Schiaparelli, but for some reason I was caught off guard by the Tom Ford rain coats dripping in sex. Silly me.

Starting with the bare bones, a stark white backdrop and actually decent lighting feel so welcome in a land of dim sets and overproduced backdrops. It was still the sexiest show of the season even with the lights turned all the way up. Sharply tailored, lusciously textured, playful, confident, every piece had an edge.

The look that took my breath away:

★ Famously a sucker for see-through skirts and a brunette with a red lip, this look was tailor-made in a lab to give me heart palpitations. The show is a love letter to contrast, no better exhibited than in this look: an opaque black hole threatening to swallow her face, somehow working in harmony with sticky plastic exposing everything below the belt.

Black sesame torso + simple syrup skirt = delicious treats for all.