Reaching No-Buy Nirvana
No-buy made me love shopping even more (and not in the way you might think).
It’s no secret we’re all shopping too much. The terms “de-influence,” “project pan,” and “underconsumption core” haunt our feeds, parading as the personal antidotes to capitalism. The irony of adding -core to the idea of reducing irresponsible consumption is palpable.
I think no-buys have been unfairly lumped into this category of performative under-purchasing. Though any online phenomenon can quickly turn toxic, there’s a lot to learn in the intentional practice of saying no. So I’ve been saying no lately. No to about 99% of what I’d like to buy. And I’ve reached a place where sales can no longer touch me — I’ve reached No-Buy Nirvana.
Ultimately, it’s less work to not do something than it is to do it. So I’ve found not purchasing to be an easier-than-expected routine to fall into — it even comes with a cash bonus ;)
It’s been about six months of no-buy for me with a few exceptions; I still bought holiday gifts for others and have purchased two inexpensive items that really spoke to me. After a thoroughly conducted experiment, this is what happened when I stopped buying clothes.
Stage 1: Desire detoxing
I can’t will myself not to want, but I can will myself to release that want, and I’ve discovered that desire can wane with a little practice.
The capitalist forces at be have paid a lot of money to ensure there’s a constant little voice in my head that insists some new shiny item will finally complete my wardrobe. No, this is the perfect sweater! I swear! You can’t live without this bag. This is the only bag you’ll need for the whole year. But this ring is soooo unique, it’ll be a new signature piece! How cool would it be as a signature piece?
Not one new piece a wardrobe can fix. And chances are, the wardrobe doesn’t need fixing anyway. I argue with that voice when something alluring comes along:
If I don’t buy it, then it can go home with someone who loves it and wears it even more than I would.
It’s nice I saw it, but I don’t need it in my possession. Thank you, cool item, for teaching me something about my taste, now be free!
If all else fails, I cannot let capitalism win this one.
Perhaps in this restriction, I have passed up pieces that I would have worn and cherished for years. That’s ok. I’m learning to let go of the scarcity mindset — take a deep breath and remember there’s fresh vintage listed on eBay every single day.
Stage 2: Closet alchemy
The sentiment “you can’t buy your way into having personal style” has made rounds lately (personal style being a hotly discussed topic as of late, to the point of annoyance for many lol). What if we take buying off the table completely? At least for a while. What happens then?
Left to my own devices (i.e. a closet full of clothing purchased by past versions of me), I was forced to find a new source of creativity. Now more than ever, I style items I’ve had for years in ways I never considered. I look at my clothes a little differently — like puzzle pieces with a new daily configuration I’m tasked with cracking. My outfit is but an NYT Connections category.
Without the distraction of incoming items, it’s also made clear what doesn’t get worn and needs to be donated or passed along to friends. My friends and I regularly gift each other pieces we think would work better in their wardrobes. It’s a sustainable, no-purchase-necessary way to revamp our closets, and it’s a really warm feeling when a friend hands you something and says “this would look so good on you.”
Stage 3: More meaningful “yes”
That little voice who swears each new piece will complete my style evolution has become easier to tune out. She’s still there, but quieter every day. Now, my first impulse at a potential purchase is “I don’t need it.”
Rather than having to convince myself not to buy something, I have to put a lot more effort into convincing myself to buy it. My default is “no,” so my “yes” means that much more.
This experiment has also cemented my view on shopping as research. I think I spend more time in retail locations now than before, and it’s more enjoyable knowing I almost definitely won’t be buying anything. I try on with abandon; I snap photos of inspiration; I flip through my mental Rolodex of pieces I already own, concocting an outfit that could capture the essence of what I’ve found in store.
When I share shoppable links here, I do so in hopes that something I’ve uncovered might spark joy, inspire a train of closet thought, or is perhaps a treasure meant for someone else. I believe shopping is worthwhile research and an important exercise in developing interests, tastes, and our eye for brilliance, whether or not we leave with anything in hand.
I love shopping — and I’ve found I can love it even more when shopping is divorced from buying.
some eye-catching moments I’ve snapped recently
Because it’s my birthday month, I’m giving away a 6-month paid subscription every day! Comment or restack with a note on any January letter to be entered into the pool ⋆⭒˚｡⋆
I gasped when I saw the rivets on those jeans!
Jokes aside, great piece! I would consider myself no-buy-curious… still learning self control when it comes to shoes 😫