Who the hell is wearing these runway looks anyway? pt. I

Widows, Samantha Jones, and me in middle school, for starters.

Show after show, deliciously styled look after deliciously styled look, but who’s going to wear all these pieces? Allow me to shed some light on the matter…

Gucci

A widow putting on her most convincing confused face when she gets called into questioning after her second husband goes missing.

Thom Browne

The cast of a film adaptation of The Secret History whose costume department is led by Patricia Field.

Sandy Liang

The Polly Pocket staring you down as you dig through her clothes bin to find the perfect rubber skirt to chew on.

This letter might get cut off in your email — to enjoy in its entirety, read in a browser on your laptop or phone ☆

---

Schiaparelli

Samantha Jones when she needs to go straight from a power lunch to ruining a man’s life.

Simone Rocha

The average customer at a Bushwick coffee shop (complimentary).

Cecilie Bahnsen

A woodland fairy running a marathon. She somehow fits her gels and water bottle in that sheer vest and you’ve never see her break a sweat.

Chloé

An apparition of Florence and the Machine coming to sing you to sleep after downing a bottle of red wine.

Maison Margiela

Your tailor just triple checking before he makes any cuts.

Rabanne

That one woman from the wilderness survival show Alone who made a coat from squirrel hides in the remote Canadian forest.

Prada

The heiress living in a Plaza suite rushing to an 8 am humanities class at Columbia after one too many dirty martinis the night before. How does she always get an A?

Anna Sui

The cast of the next Knives Out movie (in my fantasies).

Fendi

The widow showing up to her first solo meeting with her financial advisor after her husband’s death. No time to mourn, there are assets to manage.

Jil Sander

Taylor Swift’s mirrorball making an on-stage appearance for a duet during the surprise song set at the Eras Tour.

Acne Studios

Me in 6th grade Language Arts class giving my book report on Touching Spirit Bear.

Givenchy

A Project Runway contestant’s model during the unconventional materials challenge (they won, obviously).

Tory Burch

The girl who is somehow always coming from Pilates and always apologizes for how disheveled she looks even though she's never looked disheveled in her life.

Courreges

The final evolution of the Sandy Liang girl when she’s decided to untie the bow and drape herself in the loose ribbon.

Burberry

Lenny Kravitz.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this season’s showing! What’s been your favorite show? And what insane character did you create to wear their clothing?