The Unsexy Things I Wore Most in January
Unless you find drugstore brand graphic design sexy, then ignore what I just said
How was your Valentine’s Day? The restaurant my partner and I went to — unbeknownst to either of us — was putting on a Heated Rivalry theme for the night. Our waiter’s shirt said “Stupid Canadian Wolf-Bird” and our check was delivered under a hockey puck.
By now, my first weeks of January in the heat of Australian summer feel like a fever dream. The filthy icebergs that line the New York City sidewalks are speaking to me in tongues. Does anyone remember what it feels like to have grass beneath their bare feet?
So yes, we’re halfway through February, but I’m a full month back into winter and a full year deficient on positivity and Vitamin D. Fashion month is hectic, the world is on fire, and I’m cat-sitting a 17-year-old tuxedo with half a tail. So it goes!
This is what was on repeat for the last month: all the unsexy pieces on the frontlines of the polar vortex we’ve been facing, including a special Scottish scarf, off-brand moisturizer, and the roadkill gloves I’m deeply in love with.
My derm once diagnosed me with “clinically dry skin,” to which I asked “is that like eczema?” and she replied: “I wish it were that simple.” In reality, this translates to countless tubs of drugstore brand moisturizer scattered around my apartment in the winter.
Aptly named “Advanced Moisturizing Cream” as if my dermatitis flare-ups require lotion with a degree. It’s unscented, thick like paste, highly effective, and incredibly unsexy. Just as so many of the best skin solvents are.
Between the months of December and March, the only thing keeping my thighs from frostbite is a layer of Nordic wool technology. I don’t understand how anyone can go outside in sub 30°F weather with only a denim veneer between their knees and the wind. I need to be swaddled like an infant.
I most often wear this Norrøna pair, and I also love the New Zealand brand Icebreaker. Occasionally I’ll throw on my Negative long underwear too, which aren’t as warm but are deliciously buttery soft.
A lot of heat escapes the narrow connectors of appendage to main body —wrist, neck, ankles — and all must be covered for me to leave the house. The possum gloves have seldom left my wrist lately, and I’ve especially loved the sleeve styling options at play with a pop of oceanic blue.
I own but one shoe that could be considered winter weather appropriate. This is to say most of the time I’m leaving my house in very inappropriate footwear, but for most of this last month, my feet were safe inside Blundstones.
They’re not the sexiest snow show imo — not like a flirty Moon Boot or a saucy fur pair — but they’re snow, slush, and salt -proof which is really all that matters. I can’t think beyond “warm dry foot” when it’s feels like -10°F outside.
This little red riding hood was in a Neverworns event gift bag a couple months ago. Call me a freebie fiend, idc, the hood has become a legitimate workhorse in my winter accessories drawer.
It’s the only head-warming piece I own that doesn’t completely fuck up my hair. No more sweaty forehead under a wool beanie, strands glued to slick skin, praying for dim lighting that won’t reflect an unsightly sheen off your soaked fringe. Spares your dignity and your blowout.
And for even MORE WARMTH, I’ve been pairing it with a little wool scarf tied around the neck too. Why wear one when you can wear two?
This plaid is actually my partner’s Scottish side’s family tartan… so needless to say I have no idea how to procure a ShopMy link for that one. I can, however, point you to this merino beauty that’s very similar and almost a one-to-one match for the tartan skirt I wore in high school.
Last month I hoped for “bearable winds in the city (unlikely) and reunions with friends I haven’t seen since last year.” Oh boy was the weather so much worse than I had anticipated! I did get to squeeze lots of friends though, which almost makes up for the frozen eyelashes.
This month I’m praying for ONE warm(ish) day and that I have more time to stare at the ceiling. I need to think about nothing for a while.
I’ll leave you with a photo of my favorite January treat, a big juicy Sumo, and a poem by Wendy Cope that meant a lot to me in college. It’s required reading in the depths of winter.
At lunchtime I bought a huge orange –
The size of it made us all laugh.
I peeled it and shared it with Robert and Dave –
They got quarters and I had a half.
And that orange, it made me so happy,
As ordinary things often do
Just lately. The shopping. A walk in the park.
This is peace and contentment. It’s new.
The rest of the day was quite easy.
I did all the jobs on my list
And enjoyed them and had some time over.
I love you. I’m glad I exist.
Get in touch with me at mackinley@yeehawt.com if you’d like to work together, browse my shelves here, or find me doing other things on IG. Happy (mid)February!
Love that poem - I've never seen it before!
The orange poem is a forever favorite <3