How To Shop for Your Weird Girlfriend

Nothing says romance like raccoon teeth.

Feb 08, 2025

Happy Valentine’s Day, lovers and freaks. Whether you have a weird girlfriend, you are the weird girlfriend, or you are a weird girlfriend who has a weird girlfriend, I come bearing romantic gift ideas with you in mind.

There’s no better way to say “I see you and I love you” than with a fucked up ceramic frog.

For the girl who likes Little Guys

May include: A white ceramic frog figurine with green accents. The frog has a round body and large, expressive eyes. The frog is sitting on its hind legs with its front legs outstretched.

May include: A ceramic frog figurine with a white body and green and black speckled legs. The frog is sitting on a wooden surface.

If you give a ~~mouse~~ weird girl ~~a cookie~~ an ugly ceramic frog… she’s probably going to want to crochet him a tiny hat. This little guy is handmade in Turkey and has two posture options. The shop has plenty of other freaky ceramics if plump frog isn’t your girl’s jam.

For the girl who won’t shut up about the Schiaparelli hair necktie

Ever since she saw it on the runway, she’s been considering chopping off her own braid to avoid the 2100€ price tag. Save her the energy (and the years it would take to grow her hair out) with Praying’s braided tank top.

For the girl with one thousand trinkets

May include: A black and white beaded necklace with a fringe of white beads. The pendant is a beaded face with black and white details and a red mouth. The necklace is displayed on a white surface.

Weird girls need trinkets like they need air. This beaded Harlequin necklace functions as both jewelry and a trinket holder. The pouch could hold a picture of their cat, a Sonny Angel or two, maybe a mini can of Diet Pepsi, the possibilities are endless.

For the girl who wants to crawl inside your skin

Like in a totally normal way, though.

What could be more romantic than jewelry made from a lover’s tooth? A dear friend of mine commissioned a ring with her wisdom tooth from Kettle Black Jewelry and had a lovely experience. And if you haven’t recently had dental surgery, KBJ also offers options made with raccoon teeth and coyote teeth.

For the girl who forms sentimental attachments to rocks

If I know one thing about your weird girlfriend, it’s that she has an emotional attachment to Marcel the Shell. She’s always ready to explain the Jenny Slate lore and pull up the original YouTube shorts she studied in middle school. And she will cry unboxing this.

For the girl you’re afraid of

There’s no better Valentine’s Day movie than Jennifer’s Body — it’s got demons, sapphics, and flesh-eating Megan Fox. What more could you want? This rare find will show your girlfriend you respect and fear her.

For the horse girl

Silver Metal Horse Sculpture Greek Greece Motif Handmade Vintage Folk Art Figurine MCM Mid-Century Animal R.06 image 1

This vintage silver horse statue feels like an old friend that I’d like to catch up with over coffee. Someone’s horse girlfriend needs it sitting on her dresser protecting her perfume collection.

For the girl who has weird bag charms you don’t understand

So she has a monkey boy dangling from the straps of her purse — can’t a girl have hobbies anymore? The Monchhichi Camping Set comes complete with a hiking backpack, sleeping bag, tent accessories, and a sweat-wicking performance fabric t-shirt. Now we just need to find him a little camp stove and coffee mug…

Of course, this list only scratches the surface of weird girl desires. What did I miss? Let me know in the comments. Happy Valentine’s Day ⋆˙⟡♡